Khinky’s Boots #2

Welcome to Khinky’s Boots, a weekly column where our resident know-it-all dispenses indispensable advice to everyone from Planeswalkers to Pegasi.

Our contributor is Khin Kyaw, a flavour text enthusiast, fashion nerd and inveterate science fiction fan from Johannesburg. She blogs about freedom and frugality at Osprey’s Lab and explores the South African MTG community at Manabond ZA.

The Multiverse has 99 problems… Khinky is in no way qualified to fix any of them, but it never hurts to try. In today’s column: wrist bones, sphinx beards and a Lhurgoyf.

insatiable harpy

Dear Khinky

My collection of wrist bones is getting out of hand. It began with just one or two, but every time I visit a battlefield I come home with more. Now it seems like there are thousands of them piled up against the walls. My cave is always a mess and my partner keeps threatening to get rid of them all.

Please help!
Insatiable Harpy

Dear Insatiable

This is a common problem among wrist bone enthusiasts, so you are definitely not alone. I would suggest a two pronged approach:

  1. Cutting down – How many of those bones really deserve to be part of your collection? Keep only those that are very valuable or currently in use.
  2. Storage solutions – Get some nice boxes and assign a dedicated space in your cave for your bones. Your partner will be less inclined to get rid of them if you do a good job of keeping them neat.

One last thing – does your partner know how much your collection is worth? I’ve heard of cases where very rare bones ended up in the trash after a petty domestic squabble!

Good luck…
Khinky

prognostic sphinxDear Ms Khinky

I’m noticing more and more that the other sphinxes tend to be overly dismissive of me, calling me an old fogey and whatnot. I’m only a couple of centuries older than those whippersnappers but I guess I’m prejudiced too – their beards are in need of a good trim! But it seems like such a small issue and they’re a good bunch of kids. Should I just let it slide?

Old but not irrelevant,
Prognostic Sphinx

Dear Prognostic

First of all, great beard! But seriously though, discrimination is a thing; ageism is definitely a thing and if you are feeling the effects then it’s something worth trying to fix. I wish I had an easy solution. Not that it’s your responsibility to educate them but perhaps you could make the others aware of the various prejudices around age? You’ve already taken a good first step by talking about it, so thanks.

Yours
Khinky

lhurgoyfDear Khinky

I’m a nice enough guy and I don’t smell too bad, but lately I’ve had a problem making friends. I used to have a pretty average social life, you know – book club and graveyard crawls and the occasional dinner party. But nowadays I can’t seem to get within sight of the village without everyone running away. Pretty sure Hans has been spreading rumours about me again. What should I do?

Love
Lhurgoyf

Dear Lhurgoyf

Man that’s tough, I really feel for you. Let me just say that if there are unsavoury rumours floating around, they’re more likely to have originated with Saffi Eriksdotter and not poor Hans. Saffi means well but she can be a little bit dramatic sometimes.

I would advise you to take the high road – continue to be the stand up guy that you are until this whole thing blows over. Meanwhile, have you tried meeting friends who are a bit more open minded? I hear Mortivore is looking for a ballroom dancing partner and I have a feeling the two of you would get along.

Best
Khinky